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6.18.2009

POA Belgian Teenager Has 56 Stars Tattooed On Her Face



In what has to go down as one of the strangest stories of the year so far (sorry Pee Wee Herman, you're come back just doesn't cut the mustard anymore), a pretty Belgian teenager, Kimberley Vlaminck is suing a tattoo artist after she says he mistakenly put 56 stars on her face when she only wanted three.


TEENAGER Kimberley Vlaminck shows the 56 stars she claims were mistakenly tattooed on her face - after asking for just THREE.
The 18-year-old blamed a language mix-up after she fell asleep in Rouslan Toumaniantz's chair.

Kimberley faces a £9,000 bill for corrective surgery in Courtrai,
Belgium - and moaned: "I look like a bloody freak."

Romanian Toumaniantz, 37 - who is adorned with tattoos, piercings and rings - claims she was awake throughout and complained only after her dad and boyfriend threw a fit.

He said: "She looked in the mirror several times. She asked for 56
stars and that's what she got."Source: SunUK


Growing up in the bayeaux of the great state of Loosiana, my Grandpappy sat me down on the front porch and said, "Son, there's only two goddamn things you need to know in this world. Number one, them gators will kill ya if they ever get their jaws on ya. And number two is never fall asleep in a damn tattoo parlor. They'll just about ass-rape ya to death in there, Gaddammitt!"

I found those words encouraging, and have always tried to follow them. Unfortunately, my first career move was wrestling alligators to get through barber college. But after I lost my second limb they kicked me out. Go figure. Now that's discrimination against the handicapped.

My second career move was testing the nitrous oxide in the local tattoo parlors in my neighborhood. And, well, if you want to see what happened after I fell asleep on the job, just head down to the end of this post.

Anyone who has ever gotten anything tattooed on their body knows sure as shit to stay awake for the entire thing. Why? Cause of two things: A) With a needle diggin into your skin its absolutely impossible to catch some shut-eye and B) You better make sure that the tattoo artist isn't misspelling the words on your arm. You don't want to walk through life with a big "I heart Rambo" tat on your arm every time you try and show off the guns in your guinea tee.

This girls full of crap. I'm calling shenanigans. In the video below, the tattoo artist shows a picture of her after the Tat was finished and she's smiling from ear to ear. And if I have to write the words tattoo artist again I'm cutting off the toes that I hit the computer with.

I had to throw this up here if only because you'll never see or hear anyone ever use the line "She asked for 56 stars and that's what she got!" Classic. and classy.







That's me after falling asleep in a tatto parlor. Gawddamn I was ass-raped by them fellas just like my grandppapy said they would.



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3 comments:

Slystone said...

What's wrong with my I heart Rambo tattoo

BasementAddix said...

She has two options for the future...porn or heroine...

Nice Guy Eddie said...

You forgot about the third option, and no I am not talking about the sexual position. She could always get a job working at her local elementary school cafeteria. If they have schools anything like mine, she'd fit right in.

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